


think i'm not winning

by likewinning



Category: Batman (Comics), DCU (Comics)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Comment Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-12
Updated: 2016-01-12
Packaged: 2018-05-13 11:31:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5706094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/likewinning/pseuds/likewinning
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five times Bruce asked Jason to come home, and one time he did.</p>
            </blockquote>





	think i'm not winning

**1.**

 

"We can do this the right way," Bruce says. They're both sweating half to death, Ethiopian heat making Jason want to take off every item of clothing and dive into the pool back home. He misses the Manor - never thought he would, big old haunted place that it is, but he _does._

"Yeah?" Jason asks. They haven't fought in hours, but Jason's hot and agitated and sick of Bruce being right about everything. He left for a _reason_.

Two reasons, maybe.

"What way is that, huh?" Jason asks. He sprawls on the bed wearing just his boxers, legs spread out. He can feel Bruce's gaze on him, heat on top of heat. " _Your_ way?"

"That's not what I said," Bruce says.

"No," Jason says. "But it's what you _meant_."

"Jay," Bruce says. He kneels down in front of the bed, pulls Jason's legs until his feet are on the floor. Jason feels his breath between his thighs, and it doesn't matter that he's angry, that he left, all at once he just _wants_ -

"Come back home with me," Bruce says. He kisses Jason's thighs, sucks a bruise on top of a bruise and then looks up at him and for just a second Jason's so stupidly sorry that he left, can't remember what he's even doing here, but -

"I can't," Jason says. Maybe it means giving up Robin, maybe it even means giving up _Bruce_ , but - "I can't."

 

**2.**

 

"Jason," Bruce says. The city's on fire around them like some stupid reflection of the noise in Jason's head, some stupid attempt of Jason's to get Bruce to _look_ at him again. "You can still come back from this."

It's raining, but neither of them feel it. Jason's heart is beating faster than a gunshot, but his voice is steady when he speaks. "Who says I want to?"

He's ready for it when Bruce pushes him against the brick, ready for it with a sweep of his legs that Bruce dodges.

"Jason," he says. "If you ask, you can still come home."

It makes it harder that he can see Bruce's eyes, hair all messed up from the cowl and his face streaked with rainwater, but not - he can still -

"Yeah," Jason says, feels the sneer on his face like some unstoppable thing. "But who says I'm asking?"

 

**3.**

 

"You don't have to leave," Bruce says. It's Jason's first day out of bed since the Joker - since everything. He's been here, in this place, in his old room for what feels like weeks. Letting Alfred bring him meals, letting the pit in his stomach grow every time Bruce stops by to see him like he's - like he's here because of anything but _guilt_.

Every afternoon, Bruce sits beside his bed and talks to him. Reads to him from the books he and Alfred collected a lifetime ago. Smiles so brightly it makes Jason kick the sheets away because it's too damn warm in this room.

And every night, after patrol, Bruce pokes his head in to check on him. Just like when Jason first started living here, he pretends to be asleep.

"You don't have to take care of me," Jason says now. He has his bag slung over his shoulder, his hood - a new, de-Jokerized one, probably tagged with some tracking device because Bruce is the definition of a control freak - in his hand. "I'm all better now. I'll bake Alfred some cookies or something."

Bruce smiles, but it's not - like before, when Jason was lying in bed. "That's not what I meant," he says. "It's not - you don't only have to make this your home when you're injured, Jason. You could stay here. Look after Gotham with me."

His voice is so sincere, Jason almost says yes. Almost calls Roy and Kori and says that he's had a change of heart, that he's going right back to the start. But he doesn't say anything for the longest time. Then he turns away and starts out of the room, says, "Thanks for everything, Bruce."

He doesn't look back.

 

**4.**

 

He's standing with his feet in the sand of some beach after Ethiopia - the second Ethiopia, and fuck Bruce very much - when he gets the text.

_Come home_.

It's been three weeks since he left Bruce there, and he very much _hasn't_ been following the Bat's antics in the papers, very much hasn't listened to any of Alfred's frantic (for Alfred) messages about Bruce's - change of condition. Tim's called him, and Dick, and Jason wants nothing to fucking do with any of it.

But when they get Damian back -

When they get Damian back, Jason finally has to drag Bruce away from the kid to let him _sleep_ , has to tug Bruce upstairs because none of these other idiots, not even Alfred, seem to remember that Bruce has been on no sleep and minimal food since Damian _died_ and just maybe it's time to fix that.

He makes Bruce sit down at the kitchen counter and he makes him a plate of bacon and eggs, pours him a cup of the decaf that only Alfred ever drinks, and when he sets the plate down Bruce grabs his wrist, looks up at him like maybe he's just seeing him.

"Thank you," Bruce says.

"No problem," Jason says. "Couldn't let any of those other nightmares in the kitchen, could I?"

"No," Bruce says, smiling. "But that's not what I meant. Jason, I - you've been - I know I've -"

Jason hands him a fork. "Eat," he says. "And after that, I'm going to show you where your bed is, because it's pretty obvious you've forgotten."

"Damian -" Bruce starts.

"Will still be there in the morning," Jason assures him. "And even late afternoon, which is about when you _should_ wake up."

"I -" Bruce starts, but Jason shakes his head, pulls back and says, " _Eat_."

For once, Bruce listens to him. He cleans his plate, drains his cup, and sits still until Jason's washing the last dish, at which point he comes up behind Jason all fucking Batman-quiet and leans his forehead on Jason's shoulder. He breathes against Jason, wraps his arms around him. "Stay," Bruce says.

"I will," Jason says. "Kori and Roy are picking me up tomorrow. Well, later today, anyway."

"No," Bruce says. He kisses the exposed skin on Jason's shoulder. "Don't leave."

"Bruce," Jason says. He turns in Bruce's arms, even though he knows it'll hurt to look at him - and it does. He looks so tired, but so happy, and Jason's - about to ruin a little of that. "I helped bring your son back. Isn't that enough?"

Bruce flinches, but he lets Jason go, backs up a couple steps. "It's never enough," he says. Jason starts to reach for him, then stops. "Will you say goodbye before you leave tomorrow?" Bruce asks.

"Yeah, of course," Jason says.

He doesn't, of course.

 

**5.**

 

Jason doesn't come home when Bruce gets his memories back. He thinks about it - even gets halfway to Gotham on his bike before he turns around - but instead he tells Alfred that's great news, and hangs up the phone.

He doesn't know how great the news really is. Sometimes he thinks he'd do anything not to remember, to go through life not remembering shit about his parents, or the Joker, or - any of it.

Bruce finds him anyway.

Bruce finds him ten miles from where he and Roy are staying, stops him in his tracks by jumping right out in front of him outside some bar.

"Guess the suit still fits," Jason says, instead of the hundred other things he should.

"Yes," Bruce says.

"How's your head?" Jason asks.

"Full," Bruce says. "It's been - strange, being back."

Jason nods. He leans back against the wall and lights up a cigarette. "I'm sorry it didn't stick," Jason says. "You seemed -"

"It's all right," Bruce says. He moves in, and maybe it's just been too long since he's seen Bruce in the suit, but he seems even taller than before. It makes Jason think of being fifteen and tiny, having to tilt his head up just to talk to Bruce. Now they're all but eye-level.

"I missed you," Bruce says. Jason chokes, and Bruce waits for him to stop coughing before he continues. "I didn't know it at the time, but I could feel something missing, Jason. That was all of you."

"Jesus, Bruce," Jason says. His eyes water from the smoke, and he flicks his cigarette out when Bruce comes in even closer, until Jason can feel his breath on him. "I know how hard you all tried to keep away from me," Bruce says. "And I appreciate that. But Jason -" he pushes the cowl back, and Jason's breath catches, like it's been years instead of months since he saw Bruce.

"Why didn't you come home?" Bruce asks.

Jason shakes his head. "Come on, Bruce. You don't need me there."

"You know that's not true," Bruce says. "If you said right now that you wanted to, I'd -"

"But I'm not going to," Jason says. He moves past Bruce, turns out of the alley toward the bar. "I can't, Bruce. You know that."

When he looks back, Bruce is gone.

 

**1.**

 

Everyone leaves eventually. First Dick and Barbara, then Tim, and finally the kid - last Jason heard he was somewhere in Tibet. Everyone hangs up the suit, stops calling, stops coming by, and Jason -

For Jason, it's been years. When he gets to the Manor - breaks past all the security, walks down halls covered in dust - Bruce's hair has gone from grey to white, and there's a huge black dog sitting at his feet.

"Your security's shit, old man," Jason says, coming to stand in front of Bruce. The light from the study shows all the lines on Bruce's face, and the dog growls quietly at Jason until Bruce murmurs something at it and it goes to lay down on a dog bed a little ways away.

"Very few vigilantes breaking in here these days," Bruce says. If he's surprised to see Jason, he doesn't show it. "What are you doing here, Jason?"

"I was in the neighborhood," Jason lies. "You gonna give me a hug, or you gonna just sit there glaring at me?"

Now Bruce does look surprised. He pushes himself to his feet, and he still stands tall and intimidating. He reaches for Jason and embraces him, and he still smells like the same aftershave; he's still warm, and strong, and -

"You look," Bruce says when he pulls away, cupping Jason's face in one callused hand, "exactly as you did the first time you came back to me."

Jason remembers how angry he was then, how he wanted to destroy everything Bruce loved - starting with Gotham. He doesn't want that now, doesn't want anything but -

"How long are you staying?" Bruce asks.

"Until you're sick of me," Jason says.

Bruce looks surprised again, and then he smiles, something bright that reaches his eyes. "Then you can help me work out why my security system is so easy to bypass."

"Please," Jason says. He runs his hand through Bruce's hair, ignores the dog growling at him from the corner. "Now? I _am_ your security system."


End file.
